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July 14, 2004
Troy
Ah, where to begin?
I went into this movie with high hopes for several reasons, not least of which was the cast of hunky men. Add to that the fact that the Iliad is an amazing story, and I was expecting a thoroughly pleasurable experience.
Boy, was I wrong.
It started off well, with a naked Brad Pitt. Add to that a topless Orlando Bloom and a scantily clad Eric Bana. Not long after that, the unknown Garrett Hedlund came on screen and added a nice piece of unexpected eye candy. But once I got past all the man flesh, I realized that these gorgeous guys were no better than cardboard cut outs. I could have phoned in a better performance. So if I may, I would like to address the next few comments to some of the characters.
Achilies, dear, standing outside the walls of Troy screaming Hector’s name over and over is not dramatic, it’s funny. Very funny. And flexing muscles does not make up for lack of acting.
Paris, honey, your brother just died because of your stupid, foolish, rash, selfish actions. Confusion is not the correct expression to be wearing. I know you’re pretty, but you still have to act. And the fact that you got your Legolas on at the end of the movie does not redeem you.
I actually thought Sean Bean was decent, and I had no complaints (that I can remember) about Eric Bana’s or Garrent Hedlund’s performances. I thought Brian Cox was rather funny as Agamemnon, bringing about the only entertaining parts of the whole movie. I don’t have much to say about the three main women in the movie. Their performances were rather shallow as well, I thought. I can’t entirely blame the actors, because when almost everyone’s’ performances are poor, you have to look to the director. I mean, he’s the one looking at dailys and saying “Yup, these look good.”
The only person that turned in a decent performance was Peter O’Toole, but then again, he’s Peter O’Toole. The scene between him and Brad Pitt would have been the only redeeming part of the movie had the rest of it not been so awful. I mean, after a while, it was just painful to watch, like a train wreck.
Aside from the less-than-mediocre acting, they managed to turn the plot of a perfectly good story into a borefest. Come on people, the story was already written for you, all you had to do was adapt it for film. How do you mess that up? There was bad dialogue running rampant through both the Spartan camp and the Trojan city. A friend of mine referred to this as “soft porn for women.” The acting is bad, the story is bad, but there is lots of nice flesh to look at. That’s about all this movie was good for. It would have been better if the nice flesh kept their mouths shut and just stood around and looked pretty.
Posted by Terri at July 14, 2004 10:24 AM
Comments
I forgot to rate this movie.
I give it 3 stars (out of 10).
Posted by: terri at July 14, 2004 10:40 AM
HECTOR........HECTOR.......HECTOR.....HECTOR....HECTOR......HECTOR...
This movie, like most this summer, was a huge disappointment. Maybe I should stop going to the movies because after each one it seems like I wish I could get my time spent there back. And this Hollywood trend of putting hunky men and ugly women in movies has to stop.
Posted by: Darren at July 14, 2004 11:16 AM