October 05, 2009
An Open Letter To Everybody
This entry is about Open Letters
Dear Everybody,
When you see someone who only has one child, do not ask them if that is their only child. Just think for a second -- what if that person is trying unsuccessfully to have another child? What if that person had another child, but that child is no longer alive? What good can come out of asking if that's someone's only child? What does it matter? And, by the way, DUH. I'm here, my husband is here, and my child is here. But yes, I have another child; we left him in the car. Or at home. Or maybe on the side of the frigging road.
And yes, I know what I said the next person who asked if Dylan was my only child was going to hear, but I didn't feel right telling the nice lady who let us share her lunch table at the farm that my other child was in the ground next to my father. It kinda didn't go with the pleasant and happy mood of the whole day, so I let it slide. She did, however get the pause and "uhh..." that always comes after someone asks me that because I'm still not entirely sure what the technically correct answer is. It's funny that after all this the thing that bothers me most is the logistics of how to answer a simple question. "Sort of" doesn't really work. But "yes" and "no" are not entirely accurate either.
So... stop frigging asking me.
Thanks so much,
-T
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October 02, 2009
Pinkifier, Pinkifier, You're A Pinkifier
This entry is about Random Stuff
There was almost a very angry post the other night regarding what I was going to say to the next person who asked me if I had another kid besides Dylan and then proceeded to tell me how easy I have it, being that I only have one kid, but I fell asleep. The internets did not feel my wrath, nor will they now, since I am too freaking cold to work up a proper rant. Let's just say, my response was going to include information about where my second child currently (and permanently) is and then telling said person to "put that in your pipe and smoke it."
I think I was going for "fearsome" but just kinda achieved "humorous" instead.
Ok, I have to confess. I was just trying to spell “fearsome” beginning with f-i-e-r-c- and then got stuck. What? It sounds like “fierce,” right? Whatever. That’s why God invented people and we invented spellchecker. Although, neither had any idea what I was trying to spell just then. Well, maybe God did, but he was the only one. Spellchecker had no clue.
Anyway… I don’t remember what I was saying now, possibly because, like the rest of me, my brain is frozen. Brain apparently freezes at 56 degrees. Fahrenheit, that is. I’m pretty sure brain boils at 56 degrees Celsius. Or perhaps brain, like water, boils at 100 degrees Celsius.
Ok, another confession. Up until just now, “Brian” boiled at 56 degrees Celsius and spellchecker did not set me straight. I wish I could reverse two letters in my name and make it spell something else. Treri? Terir? OOH! The new spelling of terror is terir!!! Spread it around. Tell the world. Oh wait. Maybe I don’t want that. Nevermind.
I’ve misplaced my internal filter. Can someone help me find it? Maybe it’s in the same place as the little internal switch that tells dogs it’s not ok to poop on my carpet.
Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, “Why the hell are they together?” That’s exactly how I feel, except it’s about a fictional couple who doesn’t actually exist. This presents a problem, since I am charged with the task of writing a story about them.
“Bedazzled with rhinestones!”
Ok. Note to self. No more blog posts until filter is found. Got it.
I think the hair dye did something to my brain. Hee hee. It pinkified my brain. My brain is now more pink than my hair.
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September 30, 2009
An Open Letter To My Body
This entry is about Open Letters
Dear Body,
What the F*CK????? I'm just saying.
-T
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September 21, 2009
Let's See...What's Been Going On?
This entry is about Random Stuff
- Got a dog. His name is Rooney and he's 2 and he's half Beagle half Basset Hound. He's very cute and he came housebroken, which is awesome. We got him from a rescue group who rescued him from a kill shelter in Ohio, so we did a good thing.
- Dylan is in big boy undies. We have a few accidents, here and there, and we run to the potty all the time, but we're not blowing through 6 and 7 pullups a day, which is great. He uses one at school during nap time and one at night for bed. Other than that, we're done! Yay! I can't take a whole lot of credit for this. His teacher called me up last week and asked if I would send him in wearing underwear the next day and I said, "Absolutely."
- I'm up to reading Angels and Demons which is basically The Davinci Code in Rome. And speaking of reading, I think I'll see if I can start up that Online Book Club at the beginning of the next year (Hello, procrastination) instead of at the end of the year.
- My OB, for those of you who were following the baby blog, has stopped chemo and is going for some trial treatment or something like that. It doesn't sound good.
- My life is not simple. With a kid and a dog now, I don't think my life will ever be simple. I think the best I can try for is organized. Having maids come has helped a lot, even though they broke our lightswitch and don't clean the mold hallway. As long as I try to keep on top of things like bills (which mostly pay themselves) and filing stuff and picking up after myself and the three males that now live with me, I think it will be ok. I do have to go through the Household Notebook and update it. It's a little out of date and there's stuff we don't use and stuff we need that's not in it.
- Fall TV on. Now I may not get to read as much as I was over the summer when nothing was on. How awful is that? I need some of these shows to end because once I start watching, I'm committed, even if the show starts to suck. There are some nights when there are 3 shows on at the same time that are "my shows" and the Tivo can only record 2 at a time. So this is a problem.
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September 09, 2009
Lemonade
This entry is about That Which Does Not Amuse Me
I'm in a bad place right now.
Several months ago, I was not happy because my baby was due mid September and I did NOT want my baby born on September 11. Darren and I were up talking and we came to the decision that Sept 9 would be cool for the baby's birthday because, well, it was 9-9-09. For those of you not paying attention, that's today.
So here I am. It's a quarter to 12 and after taking my cough medicine with codiene, I still can't sleep. This is partially because of an earlier discussion with Darren about the dog we're hopefully getting and me saying that it would be nice if it worked out because I'm tired of disappointment. This whole year has been one big disappointment after another - some more profound and shitty than others. And then I started thinking that a really lot of crappy things have happened to me over the past several years - losing my father, postpartum depression to name a few. I usually don't think about these things - I tend to focus on the good and positive in life - but tonight was different. Then I started thinking, you know, there have been a lot of really shitty things that have happened my whole life. Why the hell am I such a happy person? (Not tonight - tonight bitter and angry reign supreme). The whole "when life gives you lemons" thing - I have drank well more than my fair share of lemonade.
And so I lie awake. Well, I did lie awake and then I came down here to vent. I don't like bitter and angry. It's not me. It's kind of ugly on the inside. It kind of festers. I feel my mouth turning into sneers that feel foreign and strange on my face. I think it might be a little bit ugly on the outside too.
It hurts to think that I'm naive and stupid and that's why I go through life with a smile on my face, despite each new lousy thing that happens to me or someone I care about. It scares me to think that I'm on the edge of turning from someone happy and optimistic to someone cynical and bitter who can't see the good things in life. I'm not there yet, but how long do I have? How many more disappointments do I have to suffer before I just give up and say, "Forget it. I"m no longer happy. Life officially sucks completely now."
I thank God every day for Dylan. He is my angel who reminds me with just a smile that life does not suck; not at all. Life is beautiful. Ah, the smile has returned to my face. I feel light on the inside again. It is beautiful.
I hear the clock striking midnight - 9/9/09 is over. I made it. Maybe now I can get some sleep.
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September 04, 2009
An Open Letter To Zac Efron
This entry is about Open Letters
Dear Zac Efron:
Why? Why why why why why would you pull out of the remake of Footloose? Seriously. The part was written for you. It's as if, back in 1982, Dean Pitchford sat at his writing desk and said, "In 5 years there will be born a boy who can sing, dance, act and on top of that is unbearably good looking. I shall write a movie that they will remake when he is in his early 20s that he will be perfect for. In the meantime, Kevin Bacon will have to suffice."
Or... maybe the 2009 version of Dean Pitchford got in his time machine and went back to the 80s and told his younger self to write it. I don't know. Either way, have you heard who is playing Ren now? Chase Crawford. Now, I don't know anything about him because I'm not 12 and I don't watch Gossip Girl, but I'm pretty sure he's not Zac Efron, and therefore not the right person for the role. I'm just saying.
I understand that you don't want to be typecast based on Hairspray and the atrocity that was High School Musical, but if that's the case, perhaps you shouldn't have played basketball and danced with the cheerleaders in 17 Again. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, but it might not have helped your case. So given that, just one more dance movie wouldn't kill you, right?
So anyway, please reconsider. The movie will suck without you. Trust me. I was there for the original.
Thank you.
Fondly,
Someone who is way too old to be caring about this.
PS. Rob Pattinson called. He wants his hair back.
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September 02, 2009
Old
This entry is about Inside My Warped Little Mind
Today is Darren's birthday. Yeah, sure, go wish him a happy day, but then get back here; I was talking to you...
Which brings up the point that I'm so not looking forward to my birthday, especially since I'll be a year older than I thought I was going to be. Apparently, I lost track of a year somewhere. Not sure how that happened.
I'm trying to decide what age I would pick if I wanted to stay at one age. It would definitely be under thirty. Nineteen is too young - you can't drink. I like 23, and used that as my age for quite a while. Twenty-nine is nice too; you're old enough to be respected at work and young enough that you can oogle young twenty-somethings without being called a cougar.
I'm sure I won't have a crisis akin to the one I had at 25, but 33 is weighing on me way more than 30 did. I blame Five for Fighting for making me subconsciously view 33 as old. Thirty snuck by me - I had just had Dylan and wasn't paying attention to my own age, counting his age in days, weeks and months as I was.
Plus, I think I'm the Dorian Gray of drinking. I never had hangovers in college or my 20s. I could drink like a fish to all hours of the night and get up and cheer the football game the next day. Now, I'm the painting of my younger self, faring way worse in the morning than I ought.
Books and movies about immortal beings mock me, especially the ones that aren't blood sucking fiends.
I don't think I'm as crazy fun as I used to be either. Possibly because of the above-mentioned inability to consume large quantities of alcohol. Then I realize that at my age, this might be the accepted norm. I also think it is difficult to be crazy fun while towing around a three-year-old, unless you consider Thomas the Tank Engine and The Wiggles to be crazy fun.
The overheard conversations of moms at the playground bore and irritate me. Do I really need to hear about how and when you are going to give your daughter "the talk?" Or how you won't know what to do with yourself once your youngest is in school full time? (Get a job, lady). Is this what getting older means? This is not juicy gossip. If I'm going to eavesdrop on a bunch of housewives, please, can't you spice it up a bit?
Oh good lord, have my conversations become this boring?
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August 20, 2009
eBook Club
This entry is about Books
So I've had what I think is a brilliant idea: an on-line bookclub. Ok, perhaps it isn't an original idea, but I'm very happy with it. I mean, my friends are spread out all over the place, and everyone is busy and can't all meet at the same time. But there are so many options online. There's IM, but that would have to be the same time. But if we did it as a message board over a certain period of time, we could do it at our convenience. Or we could do a mix of the two, where we have an IM time and then we post the IM transcript in the message board and the conversation can continue at people's leisure.
I am very excited about this. Now I have to go recruit people. Interested??? Come on! It'll be fun!!!
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August 13, 2009
Priorities
This entry is about Books
I've finished Pride & Prejudice and holy crap was it better than I expected. I dare even say that it was awesome. It took me a while, having come off of reading the Twilight series, to get used to reading a book that employed proper use of the English language but once I got into it, I loved it. I think I re-read the argument between Darcy & Elizabeth and his subsequent letter at least three times. My only problem stemmed from my own preconceived notions, specifically about the hotness of Mr. Darcy, which caused me not to hate him quite so much as I may have if I had read the book without any prior knowledge. I missed out on experiencing the change of heart about him along with Elizabeth, which may have taken me out of the book since instead of empathizing with her I was chastising her for being such an idiot. Or maybe that was the point; I’m not sure.
At any rate, I’m now looking for my next book to read and I’m at a loss. I’m thinking about Pride & Prejudice & Zombies because, well, I want more P&P. Plus, there are some characters (Mrs. Bennett, Miss Bingley, Mr. Collins) who are just begging, practically on their knees, to be eaten by zombies. I’ve also considered reading Eragon (*shudder* *wince*), mostly to get it over with, but going from P&P to Eragon may send my brain into such shock that I might never recover.
I think my best course of action is to take the list of 100 books and prioritize them. This way as I finish one, I know exactly what my next one will be. I may re-order them as I go along, but at least I will have a better idea of where I’m going and where I’ve been.
EDIT: After prioritizing the booklist, I’ve decided to make P&P and Zombies my next book. Should be interesting…
The *NEW* and *IMPROVED* booklist can be found here.
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August 11, 2009
New Mission
This entry is about Books
I have a new mission and I can blame my Kindle for it. I found a list of 100 books on Goodreads and I am going to read them all. Or, at least, I'm going to read the 80 I haven't already read. (I'll post the list at the bottom behind the cut so as not to clog up the internets).
I have mixed emotions about the list. I'm very excited about reading some (The Time Traveler's Wife, The Other Boleyn Girl), a little nervous about some (Gone With The Wind, The Stand - for different reasons), embarassed about being excited about reading some (The Host, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies), annoyed at having to read some (the drivel written by Chris Paolini). I'm also a little ehh about there being so many on there by Neil Gaiman. I read Stardust after watching (and loving) the movie and I was less than impressed. Some of the titles I've never heard of before, but it should be interesting.
Currently, I'm reading Pride and Prejudice (no Zombies) and like it a lot more than I would have expected. It's more difficult to get through than the Twilight series, but then again, it's actual literature.
I may, in the end, substitute some or skip some, such as The Stand. The last time I read Stephen King I had nightmares for weeks, and that was only his short stories.
Gimme some more of that "New Mission" goodness!
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